Monday, August 5, 2013

Coffee & Conversation: Strong Belief

Coffee & Conversation

Coffee & Conversation
 Question: What is something you strongly believe in but maybe don't speak up about often? Why do you believe this and what causes you to keep quiet about it?

This is a great question.When I first started this blog, I used to talk about what I strongly believe in. Then over time I started fazing it out then suddenly I just stopped altogether. Maybe you can guess what it is?

Something that I strongly believe is having a relationship with God and Jesus and allowing the Holy Spirit to fill you.  That's right I am a "Christian", if you will. Some of you might have already known but for my new readers it might come as a shock. 

I stopped talking about Him almost a year ago. At that time I got really frustrated at Him and I was mad at myself. I was going through alot; failing school, my brother in the hospital and more. I just felt like he wasn't listening to my prayers. I felt like God walked away from me. I became so confused as to why. 

Months and months passed by and I still carried my anger towards God with me. I stopped going to church. My devotional that I was writing got halted. My prayers felt like I was talking to a wall.  I felt like I was in a relationship with someone that already left. So I walked away. 
Lately, I starting to feel my anger fade. I am starting to realize that He never left. That the reason I didn't feel Him was because I was doing everything for me. I wasn't doing anything for Him. He was there and talking to me but I threw up a wall and decided not to listen.

A year later, I am still working on getting my communication back with God. He knows I am not perfect, which is a huge blessing. Over that year that I walked away, He taught me many lessons; more then I wanted to admit. I hated most of them but He has his point. The whole time He was softly whispering "in my time, child" and that was the huge reason I was mad. I wanted Him to do it in my time. I am still working on getting the relationship I had with Him and working on opening up with Him so that He can fill my empty holes. It's not going to be easy to let go but I know that in the end He will whole care for me more then anyone else. 

Now, I am not saying that you should believe in Him. I understand we are all different. Although, God loves you and wants you as his child, I get it. I also am not going to write about Him in every post because I am still working on my relationship with Him. One day I might, but for now I am keeping this blog mostly "religion" free. 

That being said, I can hear some of you "Well if you believe then shouldn't you be winning those people that don't?" Yes, I should but I don't think BLASTING his name everywhere is going to win anyone.I am not the one condemning them, that is God's job. My job is try. I believe deeply in prayer, that is what I am good at. I am still praying for those that aren't saved to realize that they need God, yet only they can make that choice. I am here when they are ready to accept God as their father. 

P.S. Don't be scared to enter my Blogiversary GIVEAWAY!

1 comment:

Lauren Elliott said...

Thanks for sharing Cody - it certainly is a relationship and one that needs tending to like all others. Thanks for your honesty and vulnerability that it is a work in progress! Praying for you as you move closer to Him.